


River Song's New Years Eve's

by CanIMarryAlexKingston



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, Darillium, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Family, Loneliness, Luna Univeristy, New Year's Resolutions, Post-Library River Song, Regeneration, Silence, Stormcage Containment Facility, Wishes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 11:10:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13635096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CanIMarryAlexKingston/pseuds/CanIMarryAlexKingston
Summary: Most people say New Years Eve is a time of reflection and where you hope and decide what the new year will bring. River had never been like most people, New Years for her were always different and were rarely very happy. Let's take a look at a few key New Year's from River's perspective.





	River Song's New Years Eve's

**Author's Note:**

> Of course not all ages are documented, so I have to guess and presume. Feel free to ask me why I think that age or feel free to disagree. Just please review, would mean the world, and would definitely be a great start to both my time on here and the new year :)

Most people say New Years Eve is a time of reflection and where you decide what the new year will bring. River had never been like most people, New Years for her were always different and were rarely very happy. Let's take a look at a few key New Year's from River's perspective.

Melody Pond: Roughly 5 years old: Greystark Hall  
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Melody lay still on her tiny, spring-ridden camp bed, listening to the creaking staircase of Greystark as all creatures imaginable ascended from them towards her. But that's the thing; they're imaginable. She can never remember what they look like so she has to imagine it. They change often: sometimes they have brown shaggy hair like the man who haunts her dreams and steals her parents from her or they wear eye patches like her aunt and possess bright dark lips that were clearly designed to never be graced with a smile. Knowing sleep won't gift her tonight she leans under her rickety bed and pulls a book that she had snatched earlier in the week from the library: A Short History of Earth.

She had lived on Earth for as long as she can remember, yet she knew nothing of it aside from the orphanage and what she could see from outside the peep hole in her boarded up window. The only history she knew of was the Doctors and though he frequented Earth often, all the stories she had learnt and memorized of his time on Earth was often only filled with bloodshed; nothing of the planet; only his destruction of it.

This past week she had learnt of religions, continents, fauna and flora. Tonight the next chapter spoke of traditions around the world. She read of one that was universally celebrated: New Years. While some people all over the world celebrated it differently she discovered a generalized theme: People would reflect on the year they had and their triumphs and failures and they would also wish and decide what they want the new year to bring and what they will do differently.

Aunt Kovarian said she had no need to keep track of the time, the only indication of the time for Melody would be how bright the light was shining through the slit in the wooden boards. She lay there and decided that she would try this tradition. And maybe, if she lived long enough or she remembered; as she feels her memories are always changing, she would make this a tradition of her own. Just like her parents do. That's a guess on her part, but she hopes they would, this could be another minuscule connection she feels she could have with them, wherever they are.

Taking a deep breath, Melody relived the previous year. She had trained for most of it, Aunt Kovarian had insisted that she should learn to fight before she could walk and learn to kill before she could talk. Melody decided that she'd succeeded. She'd yet to kill anyone but she knew of at least 34 different ways with her own hands and 92 other ways with just with the items in her barren room. The times she wasn't training she was locked in this room with just her thoughts to keep her company. She would just sit, staring fixedly at the light seeping through the boards in the window, watching the dust swirl in light. The only signs of life she sees for days. Sometimes she has nightmares where they take her away, into a room with bright glaring lights where they perform all sorts of tests on her young body. As she wakes back in her bed, arms covered in bruises and pinpricks she always wonders why her nightmares seem so real.

In the next year she hopes to find out who her parents are, what they look like, why they left her and where they are; all she remembers is a pretty voice telling her of a brave centurion who was her father. She had no clue what a centurion was, she asked her Aunt once. She didn't eat for the next three days. She wondered if the book she was reading would tell her, she was hopeful. She'd soon come to learn that hope was bad and can only lead to disappointment.

Unbeknownst to her, the clock ticked midnight as she fell into a deep slumber only to awake in the morning with surprise bruises and a painful headache.

Melody Pond: Roughly 8 years old: Greystark Hall  
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In the last two years Melody had barely grown, she was still malnourished and looked ghastly and weak, this however did not stop her captures from putting her through all sorts of ruthless drills and training. Nothing much had changed at Greystark, she had since made friends with the caretaker. She learnt early on that his mind had been changed and altered by her captors, she didn't know how and why but their prolonged exposure to her did not seem to effect her mind as severely as it had his. Maybe it was the Timelord in her. Yes that's right, she knew who she was or what she was. She had stolen a copy of her medical records from an office, whilst she was left alone during one of her training days. Whilst there she had also discovered a faded picture of a young lady with flaming red hair smiling at the camera whilst holding a sleeping new born. Melody could only presume this was her mother holding her as a baby. She had slipped it under the old raggy T-shirt she wore and stored it under a broken floor board beneath her camp bed.

She would look at the picture every night and would kiss her mother's forehead wishing she would do the same thing to her on those restless nights were Melody would hide in the corner, barricading herself from the horrors of Greystark and those inside it. Since beginning her tradition Melody would tally every day that passed using an old piece of chalk she had found in the corner of one of the rooms. The wooden floor under her bed was littered with hundreds upon hundreds of tally marks that Melody would later use in many years to come to track the silents. Melody would try to count each day as it came but sometimes she would be away for days or weeks at a time; trapped inside a space suit or locked in a dark room full of test tubes and needles. She sometimes had no clue how long she was away and resulted in guessing the tally's she would have to put down. Once Melody reached 364 she would lay down on the bed, like she had the first night and would carry on her tradition. So here she lay on her camp bed, a full year passed, reflecting on the revelations of that year.

She had killed someone. At the young age of eight she had already committed something that most people won't do in their entire life time. She hadn't meant to of course, one of her Aunt's men was alone with her in a dark lit room and his hand had somehow found its way down her trousers. She turned on instinct and flattened the side of her hand as she hit his throat right beneath his Larynx. He fell to the floor and started convulsing. She stood there, not knowing what to do, and stayed there for many hours staring at his long cold, lifeless body. Once Kovarian had entered the room and stared at the body on the floor, she didn't say a word. Melody was fearful that she'd get a severe beating for killing one of her men, she had been preparing herself for her Aunts wrath, she was ready to suffer the absence of food and light for many days to come. But none of that happened, instead her Aunt praised her, Melody was rewarded with what one in her circumstances would call a feast and gifted a silver frame to place the picture of her Mother in (Melody still could not remember how her Aunt knew about the picture she once kept beneath her bed). At the age of 8 Melody had learnt that death can also lead to rewards; she had learnt something that no one should. The way forward is murder, that's how you get places in the world.

In the new year Melody wished of seeing her Mother again, she looked across at the framed picture of her that she kept atop an empty and rotten bedside table beside her. So far all Melody's new years wishes had come true (mostly), she had learnt who her mother was, what she looked like, she had leant in her book what a centurion was. A roman. Though she didn't really think to question it, she knew her mother traveled in time with the Doctor, it wasn't out of the question. Melody decided to skip sleep that night, she had been getting a recurring dream of her victim's life-less eyes staring back at her.

Melody Pond: Roughly 9 years old: Streets of New York  
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A lot had happened in the last year for Melody. She had seen her Mother, been shot by her Mother, seen the Doctor. Escaped from the spaceman. Discovered her Mother's current address and had run to New York City. The year had started off well; ish. Within weeks of the new year Melody had begun to see more and more of what she had begun to call the spaceman. The spaceman was a thing of her nightmares, she would be in there for days, her body unresponsive to her yet her mind was consciousnesses and still active. It was a thing from your nightmares. So one day she ran, like any 9 year old would. She would call someone but they never came, no matter how many times you told them where you were. This was her first step to realising you can never really on anyone but yourself. So she got herself out.

She tore the inner components of the spacesuit, already slightly weakened by her mother who shot her. Melody's hearts always used to flutter when she thought of this, but not anymore. She had began to accept the painful truth that her mother no longer wants her, she is all alone. So she ran, not before spotting the Doctor only briefly, his pale face burned into her memory forever. For the first time in her life she stares into the eyes that took her parents from her, the eyes that turned her Mother away from her, the eyes that she will someday watch the life be sucked from them as she kills him, long and painfully.

It had taken her months to get to NYC, she stole maps, food, stowaway-ed on ships and trains to get here. Only to find out that the next boat to leave for England that she could safely hide on isn't for another month or two. Her internal clock, that she discovered not long ago tells her its nearly time. So instead of laying down on a thread-worn camp bed she squats down on the cardboard beneath her and began to wish for the year ahead. Though her wishes were only filled with hope for she partially no longer believed in the magic of them; as last year become the drastic opposite of what she wished for.

She wished that the constant pain in her chest would go away, it constantly was getting worse by the day and any medicine that she stole did not seem to help any in any way. In fact, if she was being truthful, it seemed to make the pain worse. She wished she could find her parents quickly, these streets were unnaturally scary for 9 year old girl. Finally she wished that for once she wouldn't be alone, someone would look out for her, she had been all alone for the past 7 months.

Melody laid her weary head down beneath the box and pulled the thread-worn blanket tighter around her bony frame and tucked the piece of paper with her mother's address closer to her rapidly beating heart, struggling to keep up with the deteriorating condition of her body as fireworks suddenly burst in the distance over Times Square.

Mels Zucker: Roughly 35 years old: Appearance: 6 years old: Leadworth  
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A lot had happened in the last 26 years for Mels. Yes that's right, she goes by Mels now. She's now a lot tanner and looks more than 20 years younger then she actually is. She can't remember much of the last 25 odd years. She remembers pain and a bright light at the very start, before everything becomes painless and her perspective of the dark alley she was in shrinks before she blacks out. She wakes to a world where the grass is greener, and the birds sing in the trees. She finds herself in the care of a middle-aged couple who only care about the money they make on keeping her in their house. She discoverers that she looks completely different and was no longer in America, the biggest shock to her system must of been the realization that while she had aged 26 years her body hadn't, it had in fact become younger. She wonders if this is a side-effect of regeneration. She doesn't question it, she has learnt not to question it. The last 26 were a blur, it was almost like somehow had turned off a switch in her and slowed her down, only turning her back on when the timing was right.

She perceived that now was the right time. With the mind of 35 year old, Melody.. sorry Mels had intelligence far above anyone her age and knew she had to be very careful. She had learnt of the dangers of time travels from all her stories of the Doctor. Mels quickly learnt that the best way to survive in the Zucker household was to stay in the booth inside one of the many bedrooms in the household, the booths were like office rooms she had seen in pictures and there were at least 5 or 6 booths in each room. Not all of them were filled, although she discovered she was probably one of the youngest there physically (the oldest mentally of course), with the oldest probably being around 15. She stayed there for about a week, hiding from the other children and the Zucker's before she decided enough was enough was enough. She would not be the scared, little Melody this time round; this was a new start. She would be Mels, her own superhero, no need for a fairy tale name like Melody. She quickly earnt a reputation in the house, no one would pick on her, she thanked her Aunt for installing many ways of defending herself from the other children. Of course the Zucker's never heard of any of her attacks on the other children, who would believe them? And why would they care in the first place?

After the first week they pushed Mels out the door and told her she was going to school, nothing else. She turned to see the door shut behind her and decided to follow one of the other children in her house, he looked to be about 8 or 9. She followed him down a country lane for about half an hour. Before they arrived in a small village, and walked through it to what appeared to be a school. She had never been to school before, she had only seen pictures or heard stories of it from the other children in the house. So when she followed the boy into the school and he entered into a classroom, he pointed down the hall to another classroom before shutting the door on her face. Mels looked around, clearly fascinated by what she saw. There were pictures of drawing all over the colourful walls, little hooks with pictures of children lined one of the walls, with arrays of bags and coats hung off them. She wondered why Greystark was so bland and scary, why had her Aunt made it like that?

She walked straight into the class room, shutting the door noisily behind her, of course she doesn't know the slightest thing about manners, no one had ever taught her those before; all they taught her was how to kill, effectively and efficiently. She was quickly introduced to the class by their teacher and told to sit at the back next to a girl with bright red hair like her Mothers (she later learnt that the teacher had been told she was a Zucker, which meant trouble). The girl beside her turned to her and said "Hi, I'm Amelia and that's Rory", she smiled as she pointed to a blonde haired boy beside her. "Melo...Mels". She made her first two friends that day.

Later that night as she lay in the small bed in her booth, she had a sudden epiphany. She had asked someone what the year was and it had suddenly taken her this long to work out. She was in Leadworth, Amelia was her Mother and she was the same age as them; the Doctor hadn't turned her Mother against her yet. There was still hope.

That New Years, as Mr Zucker drank another bottle of beer and shouted in time with the countdown on the TV on the floor beneath her (she was still coming to terms with this new world) she stopped reflecting on the year and began to hope for the future, as it was suddenly looking up.

She was no longer controlled by the silence, she was free of them and her Aunt and she had her Mother by her side. She had yet to work out who her father was, all she knew was that he was a Roman, so it was very likely he wasn't here. She learnt of the Doctor's visit to Amy and she rejoiced. She could kill the Doctor when he returned for Amy, saving her, saving her Mother from the destroyer of world's and galaxies. She could have her Mother all to herself. So she hoped of good luck, luck in saving her Mother and luck in finding her father.

Mels Zucker: Roughly 48 years old: Appearance: 19 years old: Leadworth  
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Luck was something that Mels did not get for the next 13 years. Her Aunt appeared not long after Mels first year in Leadworth, she was just beginning to get used to life as a 36 year old in a 7 year old's body growing up with her Mother as her best friend. Not something someone can readily admit. So for the next 13 years, the training that she had stopped for 26 years begun again. She learnt of new ways to kill the doctor, pushed her body to the limit and memorized entire essays of his destruction. But whilst all that stuff went on in the background, she learnt how to have fun, how to smile and what friendship means. After four years in Leadworth, Mels had become quick best friends with her Mother and didn't really mind her friend Rory playing with them. That was until she learnt he was her Father. That's when she started to panic, she knew she had to push them together. She had to ensure her existence. Those 13 years, were the years she never had as a child; she played dress up (Doctor's of course), spent hours with her best friends doing nothing and everything and most importantly being a daughter (unknown to her parents of course). Getting in trouble with her grandparents, school and the police were all just ploys to get her parents attention; for them to act like parents to her.

But here she sat, alone on New Years; her parents off on a New Years date. Yes, she was thankful to have successfully gotten her parents together but she was scarce to admit it but the last 13 years have taught her how lonely being alone really was. So she laid there under the stars, wishing the Doctor would come back; she had missed him, something both her and her Aunt hated her for. How could she miss the Doctor, the sun had turned a different colour and their had been giant eyes in the sky. But no, of course not, she had to be in a police cell somewhere, no electronic devices to hear the Atraxi's message on.

Turning to look at the expensive Rolex she had on, it was hers... kinda. She had a few minutes until midnight. She dreamt of what the new year should bring; it should bring the Doctor. That's all. It should bring the Doctor so she could kill him and marry him, of course. She was never one to be boring. Amy's continuous talk of how amazing the Doctor was may have wiped off on her, she was somehow impressed to how the destroyer of worlds can seem so amazing to a 6 year old girl; he was able to make people see past who he is to something else. Whatever or however he does that, she wants to know.

As the second hand fell on 12, Mels swore she saw a shooting star shoot across the sky right above her head.

River Song: Roughly 53 years old: Appearance: 43 years old: Luna University  
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Wow... a lot had happened. She was River Song now, she was free. She was no longer under control of the silence. She had killed the Doctor. But she had saved him. Her parents know who she is. And she was taking an archaeology degree at Luna University. That last one, she admits, is probably not as big as the others. But no less important, it was the first major decision she had ever made that no one had made for her. All that in the space of a year. No wonder she was tired. That might be a lie, it might be due to the fact that the Doctor had taken her to a ball in the 17th century where she danced so hard that she swear she lowed the heels on her favourite stilettos by at least an inch.

Yeah, that's right. The Doctor takes her places, although he always seems to know when the wrong time to arrive is though; always right before exams or just when she's about to catch up on some much needed sleep. She can't complain though. She feels almost like one of his companions that she's read up on during her dissertation of him. Although she hopes she might be slightly more than that, if the little kisses at the ends of the adventure are anything to go by.

As she lays on the soft, comfortable bed beneath her in her own cosy room she realizes for the first time ever that this is a New Years where she is happy. She hopes the next year and years after will be equally happy for her. She wishes to see more of the Doctor, to see more of her parents and to make her own decisions, make her own way in life. No longer held by the constricting arms of Kovarian or time itself. One thing she hopes, this hope almost silent, like she's trying to hide it from the world. Her hope is that she can discover what the little fluttering in her heart is every time she sees the Doctor, or why she blushes a deep shade of red every time he compliments her or kisses her cheek.

She falls into a peaceful slumber, for quite possibly one of the last times in a very long time as the clock strikes midnight.

River Song: Roughly 55 years old: Appearance: 36 years old: Storm Cage  
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So much for that good luck. The silence returned, lead by Kovarian of course. They kidnapped her, the night she became a Doctor (typical), stuck her in the suit that created so many nightmares for her as a young child and made her sit at the bottom of a lake for days, knowing what was waiting for her. She killed the Doctor. Her Husband. Or is he really that? Those words he shouted at her, have stuck with her for months. Months. Months she has been alone with nothing but her thoughts; trapped inside this cell. The cell where she can hear the continuous pounding rain as it mocks her; mocks the freedom she thought she had. Freedom she thought she deserved. But of course she didn't deserve that. A psychopath like her deserves nothing but what she got. 12,000 consecutive life sentences for killing the one man in the universe who had given her a chance at freedom. But she had ruined it, she had embarrassed him, dear god, she told him she loved him. And he hated her, he looked down upon the lonely psycopath with no one, no where to go, nothing to do but sit in a cell; listening to the screams of the other prisoners.

Of course he hasn't shown up since that day. She isn't his responsibility; he made that pretty clear. She was just a tool that he had used when the timing was right. What else did she expect? how was she so naive to fall in love with an ageless god like him? Her parents visited her once. Many months ago and haven't returned. Why should they. She shot their best friend; twice. As the New Year fell upon her, she didn't even bother to wish for anything. Why should she? She knows that this cell is the only thing she would see for the rest of her life.

River Song: Roughly 62 years old: Appearance: 38 years old: Storm Cage  
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River had been in storm cage for at least 7 years now and she can admit that for the third time in her life, things were finally on the up. Although she continued to be doubtful as anytime she truly believed things to be getting better they somehow became even worse than they were before.

The Doctor had become a frequent visitor and River spent less and less time in the cold confides of her cell. She had a husband. It had taken him a while to come, but he had, eventually. And they were happy, she thinks. Or at least she is. He whisks her away to beautiful plants and galaxies and brings her to digs and long-dead civilizations; each adventure full of running and mystery. Though sometimes, they lay in bed. Limbs entangled as he whispers softly into her mane of hair how wonderful she is and constantly tells her how much she means to him.

He told her pretty early on that they will meet each other in the wrong order; backwards he put it. But she couldn't care less at the minute, as long as she had him she was fine. And to be truthful she was. He had made her happier than she'd ever been before, and despite being imprisoned for her husband's murder she felt more free than she ever had before. She saw here parents pretty often and she was still getting used to the idea of presents, Christmas' and birthdays where they could celebrate as a real family. A family she had never had before. And of course the Doctor is there, he is a part of that family now.

That New Year's eve, she may have been alone in her camp bed but that didn't dampen her mood. She wished that this happy feeling would continue, the Doctor would be there and take her away to planets and would hold her when her nightmares got to much and her parents would be there with hugs and kind, supportive words. If she was to wish for one thing, it was that the Doctor would stop looking at her like she was gone, maybe she was being insensitive. She had yet to experience the backward nature of their relationship, she just hoped it wouldn't be for a long time.

River Song: Roughly 87 years old: Appearance: 39 years old: Leadworth  
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River has known the walls of Storm Cage for over 30 years now. She had spent days staring away at every little intricate detail on the ceiling, as she lay on the uncomfortable bed listening to the pounding rain. But she had spent days running with her husband, her parents and the Doctor. Yes. They were two different people to her. She finally learnt of this backward relationship they had. And she had to admit, she didn't care for it one bit. Some days she spent with her loving husband, who adored her and was always there for support, other days she spent with a Doctor who could only look at her with a frown and unkind words and she would be forced to wonder what she would do in the future to inherit that response.

This new years was the first she spent with her parents, in her room, in Leadworth. Well it wasn't her room, it was the guest room. But they all treated it like her room. She stared in there some nights when Storm Cage was too much, on nights when she was lonely and the Doctor was no where to be found or she just missed her parents; her Mother's smile and her Father's unwavering love.

That new years she was curled in those uncomfortable garden chairs, with a glass of bubbly, sat beside her Mother and Father as the Doctor messed around with some futuristic firework that he promised was completely safe. As the clock began to cut down, she closed her eyes and drowned out her Mother's mocking of the Doctor and her Father's occasionally laughter at the witty remarks by his wife to his son-in-law. She wished that every year could be like this, alright not every year, but she wished she would have this again. This feeling of complete happiness and love that filled her body, the feeling of safety she felt when surrounded by her parents and husband. As a large bang sounded from ahead, River opened her eyes to spot the fading sparks of a suspiciously bow-tie shaped firework. River missed the remark by her Mother but can only guess what she said as he protested her remark with "bowties are cool". "River why were your eyes closed?" her Father asked from beside her. She looked up to see the Doctor grin sneakily at her. She told her Father that she was just embracing the moment, not really willing to tell him the truth; it would make her sound 5 again.

Not a minute later she felt arms wrap around her neck, she tightened before relaxing as she fell back into the Doctor's embrace as he whispered through her curls into her ear in a cheeky tone "So what did you wish for this year, dear?". Truth was, she told the Doctor long ago, by accident of course, but instead of mocking her like she would expect, he just nodded and looked like he understood. She replied with a saucy "Spoilers, sweetie". Before turning and whispering all kinds of lewd things into his ears and giving him that trademark smile; watching in satisfaction as his cheeks blushed in a shade that would make Amy proud. "River, you're parents are right there" he replied hastily, tugging the bow tie around his neck. He didn't fail to surprise her though, as he slowly began to walk away, with a hop in his step, before all but turning around and whispering in a hushed, deep voice in her ear"You bad girl River, can't wait to show you what's in store for you tonight". This time it was River's turn to blush.

River Song: Roughly 113 years old: Appearance: 46 years old: 3rd Moon of Destitutione  
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When you're told that you were going to have a backwards relationship with your husband, you understand that, eventually. But what you don't predict is that you'll have the same style of relationship with your parents. Rory didn't know who she was. Her own Father. He turned up outside her cell, decked in roman attire (like she imagined as a child) and asked if she was River Song. He asked if she was River, not Mels, not Melody. Not his daughter. He asked to save her, to save Amy, to save his daughter. And she said No. His face, said it all. She knows now that every time he will see her face in the future, he will see the face that said no to saving his daughter. Even when he learns that she is his daughter, he will never unsee it, because she couldn't save his baby. That realization probably hit her harder than anything else the past year, not her mother holding a gun to her (again), not the Doctor asking her again and again who she was, not the anger he held in his eyes on Demon's run, not the look in her parents eyes as she told them she was their daughter. But the look of disappointment that Rory gave her, the look of disappointment that she will always remember.

That new years she couldn't stand to be in her cell, so she left. Escaped to the deselect third moon of Destitutione. She was the only living creature on the planet, her life sustained only by the bubble of oxygen surrounding her; thank god for 71st technology. That new years eve she sat all alone, no one for millions of miles and watched the stars above her as she wished for her family back, she wished to see the love in her parents eyes, not the anger and distrust. She wished for the first time that she saved baby Melody, yes it would kill this her, she would no longer exist. But her parents would be real parents, and she wouldn't feel this horrid guilt eating up her insides at stealing that baby from her. A single tear escaped her eyes as the watch strapped upon her bruised wrist (why does the doctor have such unreasonable strength?) clicked twelve.

River Song: Roughly 140 years old: Appearance: 44 years old: Storm Cage  
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Well this year was great. She watched her younger self kill the Doctor, was told by her Husband (well not yet for him) that he doesn't trust her, and by his tone sounds like never will (or had). Depends on who's perspective you look at of course. Oh and yes, had her last kiss with her husband.

All in all a great year. So there she sat, alone on her bed in Storm Cage. Midnight ticking closer and closer. Arms wrapped tightly around herself, giving herself much needed comfort as she replayed his death, his words and their kiss over and over. Like a record that has stopped playing yet keeps turning. The cold, loneliness of Storm Cage finally gets to her as she accepts the emptiness in her hearts as a sob threatens to claw it's way up and out of her throat.

The only thought as the sob escapes her is the wish that everything could be different and she'd have her husband again, safe in his/her loving arms.

River Song: Roughly 161 years old: Appearance: 41 years old: Tardis: Their bedroom  
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There she was, nearly 20 years after she had wished it, safe in his arms. She lay cocooned in his arms, tucked tightly against his chest like she would vanish if he loosened only slightly. One of his old t-shirts covering her nude body as the littering of clothes on the floor gave suggestion to what had happened recently.

She felt loved and safe once again, she was constantly meeting younger and younger Doctor's. She rarely saw her husband anymore but when she did, she made sure to appreciate it, just like she was appreciating this very moment. This moment was one that she couldn't even begin to accurately describe in her diary so she instead sits and cherishes it, storing the wonderful feeling down for those empty, cold nights alone in Storm Cage. She had recently done the Pandorica with a Doctor that seemed almost cautious of her, like she would be about to turn his life to hell. Well she would kill him. Twice. But she'd save him and then marry him. But still the look of complete panic still scared her half to death.

Glancing over at the clock, the Tardis had kindly placed opposite her on the bedside table, she began to wish for the year ahead. She wished she would see her parents that knew she was their daughter, it had been nearly 5 years since she had last seen her parents that knew her, she wished she'd remember this night for many years to come. She also wished the best for the years ahead of her, she heard rumblings of a pardon and had dreamt of becoming a professor for many years now, she just knew it couldn't happen when she was in locked in the most secure prison in the universe (though to tell the truth, those walls were almost non-existent). She could almost come and go as she pleases. As the she stopped wishing as the hand ticked twelve she felt a soft brush of lips against her head and a hushed murmuring of "I love you".

River smiled and settled back into his embrace, both Timelords slept peacefully, and dreamless that night.

River Song: Roughly 164 years old: Appearance: 42 years old: Luna University  
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Freedom was hers. It had taken over 100 years (thank god for Timelord aging). She was finally free from Storm cage. And she was a Professor. She had finally done something rewarding with her life. She had done the Byzantium in the early months of the year and had finally earnt the pardon she had been working towards for a little over two years. She cannot help but hate it at the same time, it was the place her Mother met her for the first time and it was the first time her husband saw her in his regeneration; she had heard rumors that she'd meet his earlier selves though. Thank god. She couldn't leave the Doctor now. She had so much running left to do with him. She started training to be a Professor roughly the same time she begun working on her Pardon. Having passed her teacher training during the summer, much to the Doctor's confusion as to why she wants to teach archeology she was quickly hired at Luna University.

So for the first time ever she had a real job, real income that she used to by this small apartment. She doesn't need a big one of course, the Tardis would hopefully always be there for her, and she'd gotten used to living in small spaces. That's one thing she can thank Kovarian and Storm Cage for. She lay down on her bed, in her room, in her apartment. Watching students celebrate new years eve.

She didn't wish for much that year, she just wished for luck in the future at Luna and that her husband would pop in from time to time and surprise her. She quickly thought of her parents, wishing she could visit them more often and hoped she would do so in the near future. She smiled at a picture frame of the four of them atop her bedside cabinet as fireworks suddenly lit the sky outside her window.

River Song: Roughly 196 years old: Appearance: 49 years old: Luna University  
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She lost everything. Her parents. Her husband. Her whole life had been snatched from her. Her parents were gone, dead. Yes, she admits while they may have been happy she selfishly feels forgotten and alone like a petulant child. She was left with a husband who clearly could not control his own emotions so she was left to control them despite just barely managing to control her own. She had to leave him. The weeks after Manhattan she turned into his verbal punching bag; years worth of insults and events he dragged up and spewed at her until she could take no more. She snapped, slapped him, with the hand he healed of course (stupid, stupid man) and left. She hadn't seen him in months, not a single word from him. Of course not. What else did she expect. She was no longer an obligation to him, her parents had left. His precious Amy. There was no need to keep up the personae of his marriage to her, he made that quite clear. It's just a shame she wasn't in on it.

That new years she wished for nothing but her parents back, there was no need to waste her wishes on a husband who clearly never wanted to be in their marriage. She fell into a light, restless sleep filled with angels and careless words and broken bones as a contract from the Felman Lux Corporation sat beside her on the bedside table.

River Song: Roughly 207 years old: Appearance: 47 years old: Darillium: Year 10  
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So. He regenerated. Her husband who she left after Manhattan. Her husband who used her as an emotional punching bag was back. But he was different. This one was totally besotted with her, and like his earlier regeneration struggled to show it to her. But unlike his eleventh face she was sure of this one's love for her. It had taken a few years of very hard convincing on his part, but she managed to trust him and fall in love with him all over again.

They were nearly halfway through their time on Darillium, she thought he wouldn't stay but here they were. Living domestically. If only the younger versions of themselves could see them now. They would both point and laugh. But it was clear to say, that both of them secretly wanted that. Both just wanted their significant other beside them: whether that was waking up in the morning or going out to the market. They just wanted the other one there.

Of course it was constantly Christmas day on Darillium but the native people just pretended like it was normal years; a 24 year Christmas would kinda ruin the magic of it. Plus the people had life spans roughly the length of a human so most natives would only live through 3 maybe 4 different days.

So on that supposed new years eve, River lay entangled in a completely different set of arms, but still felt the same love and adoration that she had felt certain of 46 years ago. She wished that they could stay this way forever, him and her against the universe, the Doctor and River. Like it should be. She fell asleep to the sound of the Doctor's soft snores as he unconsciously pulled her closer to him and snuggled (yes this Doctor, the one who hates touch, loves snuggling) up to her warmth. His face becoming lost in her hair.

River Song: Roughly 222 years old: Appearance: 43 years old: Library Data Core  
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So she was dead. Yeah, that happened. She died, yet her impossible husband saved her. It had been almost a year in this place, or a year of perceived time, was always hard to grab the concept of that in here. In the space of a year she had looked into the eyes of a Doctor who's never met her before, died, adopted 3 children (1 real, 2 computer generator, yet she loves them all the same) and has yet to decide whether he had saved her or trapped her.

Cal said it was new years on Earth one day so River, like every day. Tucked her children into bed that night, their faces taking on the slight appearances of her husband, shaggier hair, longer chins (poor souls) and told them of one of the hundreds of stories of the Doctor and her escapades across the universe. As they fell asleep one by one, she sat in her tardis blue chair in the corner and gazed lovingly at them as she wished she would see the Doctor one last time, hear him say a proper goodbye, kiss her husband one last time. And with that last fleeting thought, she fell asleep watching her children and dreamt of worlds and planets she saved with him.


End file.
